As her relationship with that co-worker progressed, she began to feel justified in her behavior. She simply found herself emotionally attracted to a man who demonstrated qualities she perceived lacking in Aaron. Jane didn’t wake up one morning with an intentional desire to hurt Aaron or pull away from him. This is one reason why those involved often feel innocent of any wrongdoing. Emotional infidelity, which occurs when emotions and thoughts are focused on someone other than a spouse, is an insidious threat that can weaken the trust between a couple and shatter peace of mind.Įmotional infidelity doesn’t usually happen suddenly rather, it occurs gradually-often imperceptibly at first. Physical infidelity is only one of the many temptations Satan uses to break up families and marriages. President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994) said, “What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? It means to love with all your emotional feelings and with all your devotion.” 1 Emotional Infidelity Inappropriate interactions with another person can erode fidelity. Fidelity also means complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife. “Jane” could just as easily be “John.”įidelity includes refraining from physical contact-but that is not all. Furthermore, the problem can occur with either husband or wife. A marriage can be placed in a precarious situation when one spouse forms a relationship with someone outside the marriage and begins to choose the company of that person or frequently shares personal information with that person rather than with a spouse. This couple’s story-representative of several true stories-illustrates a growing problem creeping into some marriages today. He felt as though his feelings were not important to her. To Aaron, their communication seemed superficial. Any time Aaron brought up the subject of her relationship with the co-worker, she would refuse to discuss it and would change the subject. Aaron began to wonder if she was thinking of leaving him. Jane talked as though their marriage was strong but, by her actions, she seemed to care more about her co-worker than her husband. He felt betrayed and rejected and was even beginning to worry that Jane didn’t love him anymore. What Jane didn’t realize was how hurt and upset Aaron felt at what she was doing.
As the two of them spent more time together, family members to whom Jane had casually mentioned the relationship began to express concern. He was quick to laugh and fun to be around. Jane’s co-worker, on the other hand, was a good listener and could easily read her moods. Still, when it came to being sensitive to her needs and “being there for her,” she felt Aaron had a lot to learn. Aaron was a good man and a faithful father to their young children. He was not one to make conversation, and Jane often felt alone-even when they were together. Jane’s husband, Aaron, was quiet and shy.
She saw no problem with sending him personal e-mails and text messages.
She saw no harm in going to lunch and spending breaks with someone with whom she had so much in common. In Jane’s mind, she had not crossed any lines because there had been nothing physical or romantic between her and her co-worker. “But I’m not doing anything wrong,” insisted Jane when family members voiced concern over the time she was spending with a male co-worker.
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